who are we to know about truth and lies April 25, 2009

sometimes being ignorant is the best state of mind to be in.

you’ll never know what stuff we may find out that we don’t want to hear.

things that make you feel so angry.

things that make you feel so sad.

things that make you feel so disappointed.

things that make you feel so… inadequate.

sometimes i wish i could just erase my some of my memories and just keep the good ones.

sometimes i wish i could just shut myself out from the world and really not give a shit about what happens around me.

let the whole world burn for all i care.

but this, of course, can never happen, as far as being human goes.

but then again, sometimes i wish i could just drown the whole world in white noise, and paint everything in black and white.

life would be much less complicated like this.

truth be told, i miss you April 20, 2009

ohh man i don’t really feel like blogging right now.

but i added a little something that’s quite nice to my other blog, which you can find here.

alternatively, you can type in maninprogress.tumblr.com in your browser.

that song never fails to tug at my heartstrings.

i think i need someone else to talk to, someone other than my family, or my current friends.

just someone to make me smile. (:

let’s not pretend like you’re alone tonight April 20, 2009

i realize that i can actually pass myself off as a girl if i wanted to. which will never happen at all.

we went to the body shop today in centrepoint and my sister got this nail buffing tool. you’d be surprised at how nice and shiny these nail buffers can make your nails look like. now i can actually see my own reflection in my nails. serious. – (1)

i actually feel extremely sad when i listen to a few songs, for some apparent reason. i literally feel like crying, when i listen to, lets say, miserable at best by mayday parade for example. – (2)

bees scare the shit out of me. or, at least they used to. they still do, but now i can actually quell this fear because, as i have realized, making sudden flappy movements can cause the bee to make you want to sting you even more. – (3)

okay, so like in algebra, (1) + (2) + (3) might possibly = this following picture.

I can actually pass off as a girl. With loads of shitty makeup, that is.

the only masculine thing i probably did today was when i went to gnc to get some new protein powder shizz, which surprisingly tastes quite nice. well nicer that the ones ive tasted before.

yeah well, so here’s goodbye to the weekend.

watch out for what’s on this week tomorrow!

mr. pussypants April 19, 2009

well, i guess that’s all the malay competitions over and done with. today’s dialogue competition went quite well, to me.

and my speech was super inspiring and cool so

yeah. after that i went straight to the rafflesfest thang at rj, where i practically did absolutely nothing. except buy the extremely cool raffles singlet, which only costs $15, and orders for this singlet will be coming soon again this friday (shameless advertising ftw!! heh)

and today i’ve just realized something too. i’ve spent practically my whole life in a boy’s school, i fear that i may have forgotten how i should and need to talk in front of girls. gorsh damnit.

i’m quite serious here. mann seriously this is utter phail. arghh tqjadjslk

oh well. i guess i need to start practicing((:

and oh yeah we lost to sji yesterday. it was a fluke. a huge fluke.

they frickin lost to bedok town for heaven’s sake.

during class time, i actually forgot that there was a match against sji yesterday.

and i was joking around before the match that it’ll be damn sad if we actually lost to sji. and everyone was actually laughing when i told them this, because we knew that this wouldn’t happen.

well, God works in mysterious ways, huh?

unleashed April 12, 2009

oh gorsh damnit my room is so frickin messy im practically knee deep in bags and books and papers but im too lazy to clean it up

well truthfully, today was pretty much wasted. well, that’s what i feel.

earlier today, we raffles ruggers played us some futsal at east coast park. it was suuppeerrr fun. and i’ve finally (more or less) unleashed the soccer mat within me. the trick is to just “relak”, as we put it, play the ball as it comes, and just to whack it when you have the chance.

after eating at burger king (oh noooess), we pretty much spent 2 hours deciding on what to do. wahh lann so much for effective time usage. after screwing around at the beach for a while, we decided to go bowling. but then we didn’t go bowling and then we went home.

pfft.

well i went to orchard. by myself. pretty sad huh. but then i went out with my family so i guess that still counts.

oh yeah this sounds pretty gay and random but i think i need to get myself a pair of skinnies. not those super mat ones, but like, nice ones. like from topman. yeah those are pretty cool. and probably revamp my look. maybe just plain solid colours from now on. hmm.

okay that was totally gay and random.

dreamtime April 10, 2009

his eyes shot wide open. his head throbbed at the momentary blindness.

but when he saw what lay in front of him, he wished he had never opened his eyes in the first place.

on the bare, red floor, the boy just sat cross-legged, eyes fixated on the thing that started to materialize seemingly out of the red stuff that covered the walls of the room he was in.

what was that stuff anyway?, the boy thought. blood? no, it couldn’t be.

“welcome,” was the first thing the thing said, stressing every single syllable with the upmost effort. the voice that came out of the thing seemed to cover every single pitch known to the boy’s human ears.

“welcome, to the city of heavenly sin.”

the boy could not take his eyes off the mouth of the thing that stood in front of him. it was the most vile and corrupted thing he had ever seen. the mouth was grotesquely enlarged, and the yellow-and-black stained teeth seemed to cover almost half of the full face.

and when the boy tried to avert his gaze, he ended up being locked in the entrancing gaze of the thing’s eyes. the feeling was indescribable. the boy felt horrified just looking at it, but at the same time, somewhere deep inside the boy, it was the most beautiful thing that he had ever seen.

oh, those eyes. the longer the boy looked, the sense of dread and trepidation the boy felt started to grow larger and larger, almost consuming the boy’s pounding heart. in those eyes he saw every single feeling of pain known to man. in those eyes the boy could see his whole life being re-enacted, one second at a time.

eventually the boy dug deep, and found the courage somewhere to say something.

“who… what are you?” the boy asked. the slight tremble in his voice betrayed his fearless facade.

the thing answered, almost bereft of emotion. “i am… an angel.”

“and what is your name?”

“satan.”

send my condolences to good April 8, 2009

malay dance syf is on tomorrow. but strangely i don’t feel nervous at all. i’m actually brimming with a hell lot of confidence actually. hmmm… weird.

maybe it’s because all the times spent on playing rugby has made me more… resistant to nervousness i guess. plus, i don’t actually have to kill anyone on the dancefloor, so i guess that takes a little bit of pressure off.

well actually quite a big chunk.

mann i can still remember this happening during ss lesson today:

Ish (being his usual self): PAP RULES!
Mr. Lim: Yeah, unfortunately they do.

hahaha. probably one of the wittiest things i’ve ever heard.

but then again we should watch our words… you’ll never know who might be listening.

(sshhh Big Brother is watching)

plus, i’m gonna make quite an inspiring (and a bit extra also heheh) speech during morning assembly to inform our friends about the syf dance thang tomorrow. ugghh gorsh why i gotta do all this stuff

well i think i’d better sleep early. tomorrow i have damn tiring training.

and malay dance syf too oh gorsh damnit i almost forgot

pfft April 6, 2009

i wish i could just burn all these bloody papers.

i wish i could just turn my bloody phone off and not answer any calls.

i wish i didn’t need to conform to other’s wishes and expectations.

i wish there was nothing to worry about at all.

i wish everything just went the exact way i wanted it to.

i wish i could just get everything i wished for.